LG 15.6.16 Super Sentences

WALT write super sentences.

There are 7 different ways to write super sentences!

1. Add in words
2. Drop in chunks of information
3. Add on at the end
4. Add on at the beginning
5. Change words
6. Add a simile
7. Alliterate

In pairs change this sentence in the seven different ways, stick to one way for each new sentence.

The boy ran down to the river.

1. The grubby boy ran down to the fast-flowing river.
2. The creative boy ran as fast as he bube into the cold freezing pole
3. The end of the boy ran as the man jumped and laugh his head off.
4. Wush wush the boy ran down to the river.
5. The boy was running to the end of the river.
6. The boy was sprinting as he tripped in the paddle.
7. The noisy boy ran as he fell into the bounce castle.

The child walked to school.

The boy was running to the end of the river, wush wush the boy ran down to the river also the noisy boy ran as he fell into the bounce castle.  

Writing Siva Afi Wk 7.6.16

Today, me and my class was finishing off our own writing, we were writing about Siva Afi, Siva Afi is when the fire is goes to the sides and you can start dancing. Here is my own writing.

Once  I was performing in front of the audiences, my hands was slippery because the fire was burning me and my hands was sweating as the fire burnt my feet. Meanwhile I was so shy that I dropped the fire and I pretended that was the dance,  I was so shy that the fire burnt me, so I just stood in the fire and I  was burning hard, so I?"[] tried my best, and then everyone was so really surprised that my cousins came and joined me, so I got use to it.so my mother and my family was so surprise that I did not give up on my family, I was so really happy as I was going through the dance, after I did my dance we did another dance, my family was disappointed in the first place, but now they were happy with me, I was about to go for another performing, but they said, go for it, I said hooray, so I went I dropped it again, but they were all encouraging me, so I picked it up, and did my special move and they were all happy and proud.

Rugby World Cup 4 sentence Recount

WALT Recount an event in just 4 sentence.

Yesterday we wrote a recount about the rugby world cup, because the All Blacks Won.

peomtry

WALT write a parts of speech poem.

Here are some examples of the different parts of speech.

Article	Noun	Adjective	Conjunction	Verb	Adverb
A An The	tree solider puddle mud sky fire shells	windy twisted black gloomy dark muddy red stormy cloudy rotten	because while where so that when as after that since although	flaming running dying lying shooting firing falling crouching jumping crawling	quickly hastily slowly painfully violently

A parts of speech poem has five lines.

Line 1 is one article and 1 noun.

Line 2 is an adjective, a conjunction, and another adjective.

Line 3 is one verb, one conjunction and one verb.

Line 4 is one adverb.

Line 5 is one word that relates to line one

Here is an example of a parts of speech poem.

A soldier,

Bent and broken

Lying while dying,

Slowly,

Gone.

We will be successful when we:
use all of the different parts of speech.
write poems that make our readers feel an emotion (linked to our painting).

---

Write your own poem here.

1 article and 1 noun	The mud
an adjective, a conjunction, and another adjective.	gloomy,while,muddy.
one verb, one conjunction and one verb.	dying,while,lying,
one adverb.	painfully
one word that relates to line one	slooshy

My Writing Moment

10/08/15:

My personal learning goal is:

---

WALT: describe a moment in time.

---

Planning (4 sentences ONLY):

I see…crying, talking,and coming in the,marae and waiting for the call. I hear… shouting,snoring,and crying. I feel… I wonder...why did he die

---

Signs of Success (Success Criteria):

I will have been successful when I have used:	Self	Partner or Teacher
written in the present tense
interesting language features (adjectives, adverbs, verbs, simile, metaphor, alliteration, idiom, onomatopoeia)
a range of sentences effectively for planned impact (short sentences used for pace and impact, longer sentences to move the action along)
use 5 (or a mix of) senses to paint a picture in the reader’s mind hear/see/feel/touch/taste
used paragraphs (topic sentence and supporting ideas)

Today’s learning focus is: to write an introduction that hooks the reader in.

Signs of Success (Success Criteria):

I will have been successful when I have used:	Self	Partner or Teacher
Show don’t tell e.g. onomatopoeia, speech, question, describe the setting, action
Language features e.g. simile, metaphor, alliteration idiom
VCOP

Remember: great writers use VCOP in ALL writing!

---

Begin writing your writing here:

It was raining and it, took 5 or 6 hours to get there and we all have to be called in the whare nui.

Also we have to walk slowly in there, when i went inside i saw people crying and saying goodbye to him.

And also  i heard people singing to my uncle to say goodbye and i was also singing, and goodbye song to him in samoan and it was so really tough to say goodbye and we all had 1 minutes, to kiss him, and say goodbye.

And that was my moment.At NORTH SHORE AT WHANRAE

In the Marae there was an

• Wharenui
• Wharekai

My Writing Learning Goals

This term i am working on my 2 writing goals.


They are:
Add detail to expand my ideas.
Add detail that tells the reader: how, when and where.

I will know I have achieved these goals when I can show evidence of these in my writing.

Information Report

We are learning to write an information report about a topic related to space.

By Friday 5 June you need to have written and edited your information report on a topic related to space so that it is ready to be published.

Here are some ideas to write about:

• Jupiter
• Astronauts
• Earth    
• The Moon  
• Eclipses
• Stars

My topic is:

My topic is Mars

You need to attend one workshop with the teacher on an area that you feel you need help with for your writing. Here is the time       table where you will make your bookings. There is space for seven people in each workshop so book in quickly to make sure there is space!

Start researching and plan your writing here: (remember to write notes in your plan). Click here to see an exemplar of a plan.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Introduction: I am going to tell you all about Mars.
Main idea: Appearance	More detail: Mars looks like a rusty,desert plane	More detail: Mas is approximately  228  million Km from the sun.
Main idea: how hot	More detail: Mars has volcanoes on their planet  and it is the second hot planets out of the solar system	More detail: Mars is the 5th planet
Main idea: Size	More detail: Because the planet rotates on its axis (every 24.6 hours), it bulges at the equator (as do Earth and other planets). At its equator, Mars has a diameter of 4,222 miles (6,794 km),	More detail: r, Mars has a diameter of 4,222 miles (6,794 km),

Success Criteria for writing. Click here to see an exemplar of an information report about Mars.

Level 3	Student Targets:	Yes!
Audience and Purpose	Identify my audience and purpose for writing.
Content/Ideas	Write clearly and include all important information.
	Add factual detail to expand my ideas.
Structure: including punctuation and grammar	Use different sentence starters.
	Join some ideas using conjunctions such as: when, while, after, since, until, if, because, although, that
	Organise my ideas into paragraphs and sequence my ideas so that my writing flows.
	Use subheadings for each new paragraph to tell the reader what it is about
	Check that I am writing in the present tense (for example: the sun is a ball of fire; the stars are shooting through the sky)
	Use a range of punctuation correctly.    (.,?!)
Editing	Identify and correct most spelling errors.
	Improve my writing so that it is more enjoyable/informative for the reader.

Introduction

I am going to tell you all about Mars.

Appearance

Mars looks like a rusty,desert planet.Mars is also the red planet is approaching Earth in its orb

it, and it won't appear as large again for another nine years.

Size

3,390 km

Olympus) is a very large shield volcano on the planet Mars. By one measure, it has a height of nearly 25 km (16 mi). Olympus Mons stands almost three times as tall as Mount Everest's height above sea level.

How hot it is

Mars has volcanoes on their planet,  and it is the second hot planets out of the solar system.Mars is the 5th planet.